Sunday, December 4, 2016

Twenty-Two pieces of advice for a new wife

I’ve been married to an amazing man for over six years now. Six years doesn’t compare to Thirty, but I still know more about marriage today than I did 6 years ago. Every marriage is different and unique. All husbands are not alike either but there is a common thread that permeates through every good marriage, patience.  You may not be able to relate to every piece of advice I have listed here, but my desire is to equip you with enough knowledge to weather the storms that are sure to come and be able to bathe in the sunlight of marital success without a care in the world.  Congratulations on your new role as a wife. I hope these pieces of wisdom will touch the heart of your marriage and bless your soul.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the past six years…………….
1.      It won’t be nothing like you imagined, so wipe your marriage board clean and let expectations go.
2.      You two will grow, evolve, and change but this doesn’t have to mean you must grow apart. Respect and compromise will get you a long way.
3.       Share your thoughts but don’t nag or repeat yourself repeatedly. Say it once, drop it and get quiet.
4.      Pray for him. Pray for him. Pray for him. I cannot say this enough. You would be surprised how much he faces on a day to day basis, internally and externally.
5.      You need good girlfriends, some like-minded queens in your corner.  These are women who will support your marriage and individuality.
6.      However, no one compares to a strong connection with God.
7.      Make sure to give yourself 30 minutes of selfcare in the morning or afternoon. This will be especially important once children enter the mix. Do whatever relaxes you… (hot bath, mediation, a glass of wine, etc.)
8.      Yes, premarital counseling is a great start, but I believe this should be an ongoing process for the next two years of marriage. (once a month is perfect)
9.      Schedule a date night once a week.
10.   Take up pole-dancing lessons. I promise you won’t regret it. Or just buy a hula hoop, anything to stimulate your feminine energy at all times.
11.   You don’t have to win every argument.
12.   You will learn more about who you truly are more than ever. Your husband will be a mirror to show you your good, bad and ugly. Don’t worry, just take note and grow. Don’t beat yourself up.
13.   When your husband is frustrated, give him time to cool off but make sure to finish the discussion. Always seek to understand each other.
14.   Pack his lunch and leave a special note for him.
15.   You’re a team. If you need help, tell him. You can do it alone, but now you don’t “have” to.
16.    Work on your insecurities. He chose you. You are enough. Confidence is sexy.
17.   However, this is not a free to be lazy, take me as I am card. Work out, take up a new hobby, go back to school. Not for him but for you!
18.   Marriage may mean a smaller, more isolated island and that’s ok. Too many outside forces can taint a good marriage.
19.   This is your husband and you chose him for a reason. Don’t allow anyone to make you see your husband in a different light because he’s not living up to “their” expectations. At the end of the day, as long as he’s doing his duties as a good husband at the end of the day that’s all that matters. He’s a human being not a robot.
20.   GOLDEN ROD LOVING 101: Become his head doctor. Yep, you heard me right! I understand everyone may not be comfortable providing oral pleasure to their man but your missing out on a game changer. Change how you view the act of orally pleasing your man and enjoy it! I mean “really’ enjoy it.  A man receives his confidence to face the world through this visual act of submission. Plus, the benefits for you will be priceless. Get your “head game” right and life will be a breeze. Yes, happy wife, happy life but this is the missing key….
21.   Always seal the night with a prayer.
22.   Make sure you compliment him. Compliment him to others, to the children, to your friends and family in earshot of him. Everyone wants to feel valued and respected. Especially your man.
Some of these tips may seem simple, but I promise you, After you’ve have a few kids, start working long hours and  “life” in general happens, you must make a conscious effort to make your marriage work, last, and thrive.
Did I miss anything?
Comment down below….

Angie B signing out!!

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